We convince ourselves of so much nonsense on planet earth, don't we?
Have you heard the one about how your life only matters if it's big and loud and pretty and everyone's heard of it and you have all the things and you've done all the things and everyone ever really owes everything good that's ever happened to you because you're the savior of the world?
Yah, it's a doozie. And such horse shit. I'll never live up to it.
But every single day I crawl out of bed with an aching body and a weary soul and a confused mind that plays a lot of tricks on me.
I climb out of my cave and I step into the sunlit living room where four little humans are giggling because they're still enticed by morning and all that a day might possibly hold.
I brew a cup of earl grey tea with a little honey and cream and I let my puppy out of her kennel. I watch her as she runs into the yard with excitement over what item the kids may have left out for her to destroy this time.
I water the basil plant on my porch and look for new petunia blooms, awe, be still.
Banana pancakes on a weekday feel almost as blissful as a trip to Disneyland. As I plop bananas into the bowl I glance at the calendar on the wall and take a deep breath...How many people have walked through our door this month to be fed? Bruschetta and stories, tacos and conversation of the soul kind, love and grace and truth and hope around the table, the simple table.
I've held my friends' babes in my arms and breathed their magic into my lungs, straight from the top of their precious heads.
I've forgotten once again to make dentist appointments. I've left the laundry to pile up until absolutely everyone is crying about how they have no underwear and then asking, "do we really need underwear?"
Those emails I've been meaning to send for months, shoot. I dropped the ball on like twelve to-do's. And I've positively said the wrong thing more than I can count.
I've dwelled on the past and worried about the future. I've said a little prayer even though I don't believe, just in case, God.
I've felt on top of the world in moments of breathtaking beauty and I've felt the depths of despair in too much news.
It is living.
And it is enough.